You’re missing out! I can tell you much, much more about how to be a flourishing coach, but I need you to tell me a little about your situation first


How to use your website to intrigue visitors, turning them into excited potential clients

Let’s go dating.

Specifically, let’s go speed dating.

Let’s sit down at the table, across from our potential suitor.

The bell rings to begin conversation.

He doesn’t look us in the eye; seems to be staring at something far away over our right shoulder.

So we ask him, “Hi, how are you doing?”

Without acknowledging our presence, he starts talking, eyes fixed on that unknown thing behind us.

“I have been speed dating for 4.5 years, and I am an excellent conversationalist,” he says. “I gained significant interactional skills during a course of education at university and have since extended my capabilities in networking groups on the local, regional and national scale.”

About time we interrupt his flow. We go to speak but…

“Conversation is a key capability at speed dating events. Studies have shown that participants who are better able to string coherent sentences together in order to support their central opinion are significantly…”

We’re hoping the bell will ring soon.

“… more likely to emerge from a speed dating event with at least one…”


Let’s get away to the next table QUICKLY!

Our new potential suitor awaits. He smiles and gestures a welcome; please, sit. Once we do, he takes his seat.

The bell rings for conversation to start and he leans forward slightly. Smiles.

“This is kind of insane, isn’t it… How are you doing?”

Then, he listens intently to our answer…

Which of our dates is more likely to be marked as possible on our card?

Yeah. I thought so.

Now, think about your website.

Does it look your potential client in the eye?

Does it open the conversation with open, authentic enquiry?

Does it ask questions?

Or does it start talking and jabber on and on about “I…” this and “… research shows…” that?

If you want your website to intrigue people to go further, you have to make your website TOTALLY about them

[and no, that doesn’t mean a single client testimonial hanging out in a lonely box up there on page right]

Your website should be the equivalent of a speed dating event where your only intent is to make the other person so comfortable that they feel free to interact fully; knowing that you have their best interests at heart.

You see, while your website is an introduction to you, for your potential client, it comes at a point in their journey:

Are you providing a signpost for their new direction, or a dead-end that leaves them feeling more hopeless?

Look, the ONLY intent of your landing page is to get your potential client to take the next step – an introductory call, for example.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The best way to achieve this is simply to let them know that you know what they’ve been through, and that you know what they feel and fear right now.

Describe – as viscerally and vividly as you can – the pain they have felt up until now. Avoid talking about it like a research study or post-mortem; you are doing this to build empathy!

Once you’ve set the scene – “I know where you’ve been” – it’s time to ask 3 powerful questions, based upon their journey to date:

  1. What would have to change to stop this ever happening again?
  2. What’s the absolute best thing that would happen because you made that change?
  3. What ONE THING could you do right now to start you moving in that direction?

And sure, you can shape the language around these three questions so it sounds more like you speaking, but the focus remains the same.

Get specific…

Encourage positive inclination to change…

Drive for tangible action.

These questions work even better if you provide space for the potential client to write their answers

[do NOT call it a survey!]

as it forces a different mental pathway of reflection.

If your website has the capability, have a big, green LET’S TALK! button that only becomes active when they start typing in the box – if not… just have a big, green LET’S TALK! button!

Do this right and you won’t even have to persuade them you’re the right person to help them move forward – you’ve already connected their situation with reflection…

… in fact, they’re already telling you about it…

… AND you’ve provided them with a big, green button so that they can take the conversation forward!

How to share your authentic self early, so that potential clients are intrigued to find out more

Here’s the thing… It’s really easy to type words onto paper, or into a computer.

For those with even a little technical know-how, running a blog is quite simple.

It’s totally non-threatening and safe.

The act of writing is completely under the writer’s control.

Writing is EASY!

Being read, though… Now that’s a different story.

Will you use the right words? Will you be misinterpreted? Will you keep their interest long enough to…

Will they have already skipped down to the next post?

Will they like you?

As a published author with over a million words under his belt, can I tell you something?

It’s not “writer’s block”, it’s “BEING READ BLOCK”.

And, for a coach trying to make meaningful initial contact with potential clients, the written word is already a VERY poor medium, without adding the burden of self-doubt into the mix.

Coaching is a conversation, with all the vibrancy, intimacy and vulnerability that brings.

Unless you are a gifted story-teller, there’s very little hope of presenting your offering – your authentic heart, mind, body and soul – to potential clients via the written word.

[and, if you can, you may be better employed as a writer than a coach!]

Luckily, we live in times when it’s never been easier to let people know who you are and what you offer.

Because we have video.

And, done right, video can unlock those early interactions so that potential clients are driven to go further in the discussion.

“So I need a video advert, then?”

Nope. Not at all. I mean, you could, but are you a coach or a dish detergent sales rep?

As coaches our primary currency is trust

If the first thing your potential client sees is a glitzy, sales-y presentation, will they trust that you care for them and for their progress? Really?

A personal, engaging, honest video IS your primary sales tool

Why? Precisely because it’s not sales-y.

Now you just need to make a video that compels people to go further!

But don’t take it from me, see what coach and change agent, Caryl Mix, has to say:

How to describe what you do with such confidence that you become a powerful beacon for potential clients

Why did you become a coach?

What was the moment that you decided – I mean really DECIDED – that you would dedicate yourself to serving other people’s progress?

Can you pinpoint the moment?

Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe you were coached, or helped, or guided and wanted others to feel that same sense of relief and release?

Maybe you knew there were people just like you who didn’t have to feel as bad as you’d been feeling?

Maybe you were so impressed by the coaching you received – maybe even by the presence of the coach – that you wanted to feel a little of what you believed that coach felt every day?

Maybe your business was failing and you just decided that you might as well coach because, you know, you’d done the job enough to be able to guide others?

Maybe, maybe not.


You coach because you are asked to do so.

You coach because your clients want to change, to progress beyond their current situation.

You coach.

It’s a verb.

Yet, when asked to describe what you do for a living, the first thing you’re likely to do is turn it into a noun:

“I am a coach”

Let’s stop doing that, shall we?

Because the majority of our potential clients aren’t looking for coaching. They don’t wake up in the morning and think, “you know what will stop him hitting me? A good life coach!”

They don’t stare into the darkness of their bedroom, unable to sleep, thinking, “I know that tomorrow brings me a step closer to bankruptcy, I should sign up for a high-ticket Business Turnaround course.”

And even if they do reach out to you, if the first thing they hear is your method, or your certificates, or your pricing structure, or your Elevator Speech statement, what do you think they will do?

Yeah, I thought so.

Thankfully, there is one approach that ALWAYS succeeds…

Get laser-focused on the change you help people make real

People want to remove pain or gain pleasure. It’s as simple as that.

And the vast majority of your potential clients are in pain – either consciously or subconsciously, even if their denial/avoidance is complete.

So really, it comes down to a simple question:

“How might I help this person?”

If the answer is in the positive – that you can and you would – then you need no further confidence-building platitudes.

Simply start asking questions about their situation. Establish rapport. Seek to understand. Step into their world.

This isn’t a new thing for you.

To describe what you do with confidence, stop telling and start asking!

And, if you really want an Elevator Speech statement, try and answer this question in less than 20 words:

How are people changed for the better by working with you?

Once you have that – and remember to avoid any “I” focus – you have everything you need to spot, connect with, and engage potential customers.

And, because you are fully centered in their change, they are far more likely to trust you have their best interests at heart.

And they are far more likely to have confidence that you are the right person to help them move forward.

And you know what that means, right?

How to earn trust in online groups and forums, so that people seek you out as soon as they have a need

So, let’s talk about online forums.

First of all, unless you know of an “I’m looking for a life-coach” Reddit, then the first thing you have to know is this…

If you are a member of an online forum or group of potential clients, and starting threads that, in any way, shape or form, describe your service, methods or products…


And yes, the same goes for commenting with sales pitches

[no matter how well you think you are disguising things]

But all is not lost.

Because the #1 way to earn trust in online forums and groups is simply this:

Provide value to the members

How do you do that?

  1. Offer empowering insights
  2. Ask powerful questions
  3. Encourage self-discovery
  4. Play to the ego of posters
  5. Educate using the norms and language of the forum

[i.e. if they use emojis… Use emojis!!!]

Bottom line: be present for the members of the forum or group

Right about now, you might be asking how this will help you land clients.

Here’s the thing:

Every time you help someone, you earn “goodwill credits”

Said differently:

Every time you help someone, you earn TRUST

And that increases the likelihood that they’ll

  1. turn to you when they have a need; and…
  2. be open to considering a coaching arrangement as a result

Once you’ve banked enough goodwill credits, all you need to do is look for the opportunity to go beyond the forum.

It could be someone presenting a dilemma to the group or, my personal favorite, a comment thread where your potential client is receiving questionable advice

[NOTE: do not attack this advice or advisor in the thread, you will destroy goodwill immediately. Simply offer your own insightful alternative]

Now comes the return on your goodwill investment…

Offer in a comment to jump on a private message thread –  or even reach out directly to the person with  “I noticed that thread and wanted to follow up directly…”

You’ll be amazed how open people are to this style of approach – and how much they will share in text messaging.

As always, provide direct, personal value – and watch for how the conversation approaches deeper work – this is where you make the offer without having to act all “sales-y”.

And what’s the final benefit of this approach?

Not only are you a trusted adviser to current members, with a reputation that precedes you, but when new members come on board, they have the treasure trove of wisdom and insight you’ve provided over time.

And that drastically increases the odds that more and more of them will turn to you much earlier in their forum life.

“But how can I do that if I suck at online advertising?”

Can I keep it 💯 for a moment?

If you already know you suck at online advertising, why the heck are you still spending money doing it yourself?

is it because it’s easy?

Is it because you’ve been told that you should be doing it?

Is it because, like, the internet puts everything within reach?

Just because something is easy and doable with a low barrier to entry does not mean you should do it.

Now, let me go out on a limb here and suggest that some part of you is intrigued by online advertising.

Some part of you knows that if you could just crack the code, you could be getting loads of leads for pennies on the dollar.

Some part of you knows that you could be stuffing the front end of your lead generation funnel with highly qualified potential clients for the price of a cup of coffee.

And, because you’re intrigued, because you have a thing for growth and learning, because you won’t let this thing beat you


you’re determined to crack that code!

So you’re spending hand over fist

[though it’s just $5 a day, so it’s really not that much, I mean… That’s nothing really… I don’t have a problem, really I don’t…]

to learn what might feel like valuable lessons.

But they aren’t, not really…

Online advertising may well be the most sneakily expensive vanity education money can buy.

It’s time to stop.

No matter what the latest guru is trying to sell you on (e.g.) Facebook, it’s time to ask yourself a simple question:

“Am I a Coach or a Facebook Advertiser?”

If it’s the former then please, please, please cut your ego loose and talk to someone who knows what they’re doing.

By all means, listen to the gurus, grab everything you can for free – but be very, very careful of expensive offerings that end up as little more than paint-by-numbers Do-It-Yourself.

As coaches, our primary currency is trust

Yet many of the tactics and tricks being offered by the gurus are the same old bait-and-switch that’s been in low-rent advertising forever – sure, it’s cloaked in “audience targeting” and “niche serving” these days, but it’s still largely the same old thing:

“Doesn’t matter what you tell ’em, just so long as they buy”

There’s a simple bottom line here – as a coach, you ARE the authentic spirit at the core of your online advertising…

Everything else is tactics.

When we get too lost in trying to crack the code, or trying the latest trick, we lose sight of the fact that nearly every step we take obscures that spirit.

As you get buried in layers of questionable advertising approaches, you destroy the very trust that you MUST create

On this one, more than any other, hire someone else to be your tactician.

And use only those methods that grow and reinforce the trust of your potential clients.

“But how can I do that if I don’t have confidence in myself?”

Stop for a second and think about that question.

Sorry to say this, because it’s probably not what you want to hear:

You just have to have confidence in yourself

And I know that sounds over-simplistic, but it’s the truth.

Here’s the great thing, though… When having confidence in yourself is non-negotiable, you have to learn to do it.

And learning is FANTASTIC!

Deep self-confidence in your coaching comes from experience of helping people, of applying skills, knowledge and heart to real problems and seeing progress.

Sure there are superficial sources of self-confidence – having certificates, being a member of federations, a healthy bank balance – but when it comes to giving you the confidence that earns trust, those often fall flat.

Ready, set… SHINE!

Help people, see their progress, reflect on your contribution – capture wins and insights ALL THE TIME. Review your own progress regularly.

Allow yourself to see how powerful you are in each coaching moment.

This is the source of self-confidence.

Once you fully inhabit your power, you’ll be an unstoppable force for positive change for your potential clients.

“But how can I do that if I hate the copy on my website?”

Think about the last time you made a major purchase online…

Be honest with yourself, which of these had the most impact on your purchase:

  1. Recommendation from friends/family
  2. Online reviews
  3. A personal trial period
  4. Product description
  5. Advertising/Marketing

If it was anything other than the last two, then there’s a good chance copy didn’t make much of a difference at all.

Yet, it’s taken you months to decide if you want to describe yourself as a coach or a mentor, or whether you should share your niche persona openly on your home page, or…

A million tiny decisions about the written word, very few of which make a blind bit of difference to potential clients.

Here’s the thing:

There’s a very good chance that you are sublimating your self-doubt into the pursuit of perfect copy

[we all do it]

So let’s stop, OK?.

Think of your ideal client, your avatar, your niche persona

[or whatever it was that last high price marketing course told you to call your potential clients]

  1. What change happens for them as a result of your coaching?
  2. What pain is removed/reduced?
  3. What pleasure is gained?

Now, write a single powerful description of that state change:

“Julie was growing so tired of chasing potential clients… She’d started coaching with such a drive to help people but finding new clients was a never-ending grind! Things began to shift when she started sharing a personal video interview early in the process. Potential clients could see her at her most natural, sharing the change she helped create for people; they could feel her energy and excitement, and how she was driven to serve her client’s best life. How could they NOT jump on an introductory call when the opportunity was offered? Julie went from dreading lead-hunting to enjoying those early calls and the subsquent coaching relationships that developed. And her coaching business flourished!”

Of course, this is just one example, for just one business. But the template is simple enough.

And here’s the thing. Nowhere does this description talk about my coaching style, my credentials, my services, yada, yada, yada… In fact, count the number of times that copy includes the “I” word…

Here’s a hint, it’s ZERO.

Now, take a swing by your website …

What proportion of the content could be classified as being “I” focused (as in “I am a certified coach…”)?

[and, yes, you have to include content written in the third person about yourself!]

The reason you hate the copy on your website is because you’ve written it about yourself, so it’s like looking in the mirror, with all the potential for negative self-appraisal baked in.

And what’s worse, when potential clients visit your site, all they perceive is you staring at yourself in the mirror.

They see somebody self-absorbed; a narcissist.

Is it any wonder they don’t go further with you?

Yes, this is a hard truth – particularly if you are deep down that particular rabbit hole.

Thankfully, if you can own it, digging yourself out is EASY.

Rewrite your content to powerful descriptions as above (not many, just one or maybe two) – then ask the critical question

[in bold, or italics, or bright orange – it’s the ONLY thing you want them to pay attention to]

“What might change for you, if you could make a similar shift?”

Then have a big, green “LET’S TALK!” button ready to go.

“But how can I do that when I don’t have a regular source of leads?”

Have you heard of the dream world?

It’s a world where potential clients call out of the blue wanting only to work with you.

It’s a world where your email pings with a daily digest of the hundreds of people who have signed up for your online course.

It’s a world where you are as well-known for your coaching as Tony Robbins.

Sometimes, this world gets described as having a 5-, 6- or 7-figure coaching business

[honestly, from the number of gurus touting the number of 7-figure businesses they’ve created, you’d think that every business has such potential – which makes me wonder how it can be that 80% of businesses fail in their first 18 months… No, it’s *not* funny, because it’s true]

Can we be realists for a moment?

Fantasy businesses are not the norm, they are not conceived over-night, nor are they work-free.

We have to play both a strategic and tactical game here.

Here’s the simplest view of a lead-generation funnel:

Step 1) Attract people (advertising, referral, outreach)
Step 2) Pre-qualify (offering)
Step 3) Woo (persuade)
Step 4) Close (sell)

It really isn’t complex – but you need to have every step working in concert to make it work.

We mostly talk of funnels in stages – I just did so here – but let’s look at real funnels in action, rather than marketing terminology.

In a real funnel, we pour water in the top (which is wide) and get water out the bottom (which is thin).

Why does the water come out the bottom of the funnel?


That’s right, there’s an unstoppable attractive force pulling the water down through the funnel.

[You might argue that it’s the weight of the water but, sorry, that’s just gravity from another perspective]

And so it is with your lead-generation funnel:

Your funnel is only as good as the GRAVITY pulling people through

Your gravitational force is the outcome that you offered to your potential clients.

Said differently, your potential clients feel the weight of the situation they are trying to solve – and sense the relief you offer.

What is your gravitational message?

For sure, it’s not about your coaching style, or your certificates, or the deep theory that underpins your work.

None of this is gravitational for your potential clients.

Gravity is unstoppable. Undeniable.

For a coach, it sounds like:

What change do you guarantee to make happen?

Answering that may feel a little scary – in fact, you may be feeling that you can’t guarantee anything.

If you have such doubt, how do you expect to earn the trust of any potential client?

So swallow down that self-doubt and establish the gravitational message for your potential clients.

Now populate every step of your funnel so that potential clients can flow towards that gravitational force …

And begin the work of making sure you live up to your guarantee.

“But how can I do that if I don’t even know my niche?”

When did you first hear about the concept of  coaching niches?

More importantly, how much did it cost you to first hear the concept of coaching niches?

And, while we’re on the subject, who exactly was it that introduced you to the concept of coaching niches?

If the answers to any of the above sound like

“An expensive training or online course, where I was told that I could only hope to prosper if I gained absolute and total focus upon my target niche, but then left me in pure Do-It-Yourself mode to work it all out…”

… I feel your pain.

Look, coaching niches exist, for sure.

And when your marketing connects to your niche with absolute, 100% alignment then, yes, it can be rocket fuel for your business.

But let’s be clear.

The people charging you big bucks to teach you about marketing as a coach, are marketing to coaches for big bucks – like a snake eating its own tail.

Which is fine if it works.

More recently though, I’ve noticed a trend towards “Create high ticket, automated programs that fill like crazy” marketing that, frankly, reads like any Get-Rich-Quick-With-No-Work scheme you care to choose from history.

Something has begun to smell very fishy.

Here’s what I’ve found happens in reality:

Niches find coaches much more often than coaches find niches

Which has very real implications for what you do. Because you have to be coaching in order for the niche to find you.

This is good news! Because it gives you full and wonderful permission to…

Focus on the change you create and create it… OFTEN!

Eventually, you’ll see a pattern emerging of just who is attracted to, and served by, that change.

A few weeks, months, years of doing this and you’ll suddenly realize you have a niche.

Then you can begin marketing to that niche…

Growing your presence in that niche…

Serving that niche at even higher levels of excellence.

But none of that will happen if you fall into the self-confidence trap of “niche before action”…

And the sharks will continue to feed on your self-doubt and empty your pocket with the promise of five-, six-, or seven-figure coaching businesses

[which I don’t deny may be possible, but color me skeptical]

Be a force for change and let your niche find you.

Let’s go for a walk…

In my earliest days as a coach and consultant, my mentor and coach, Dermott, had a number of practices that I didn’t realise would become part of my own toolbox.

Practices such as dividing my interview notes into two sides: contemporaneous capture and insights/questions – reinforcing my ability to be both within the conversation and an observer at the same time.

Practices like tapping my finger ten times after asking a difficult question in a counselling session – forcing myself to leave the silence in all its generative power, encouraging my client to step up.

Practices like walking an obstacle off.

Didn’t matter if it was a tough team meeting, a difficult individual coaching session, internal corporate politics… whenever conflict arose, Dermott would be the first to say

“Let’s go for a walk…”

And on those walks, even if just to the coffee machine down the hall, we’d talk about other things – tangents, idle thoughts, family, friends, it didn’t matter, just so long as it wasn’t the conflict. Then, at some point, Dermott would ask without asking

“What do you think we should do?”

And, sure enough, the answer would be there.

Dermott was a highly experienced consultant, a wise guy in the actual meaning of those words. And I still feel honored to have learned so many lessons from him.

More often than not, when we face an obstacle, the best thing we can do is do nothing.

Or, more specifically, distract ourselves from the obstacle long enough to let our subconscious work out what it needs to do.

Try it the next time you’re trying to solve a puzzle – walk away for ten minutes, play with the kids, empty the dishwasher, speak to your folks, stare at the clouds, anything that takes you somewhere else – then come back. Try the puzzle again. It’ll be easier.

The challenge of getting new clients is just such an obstacle.

Whilever you keep bashing your head against it, worrying at it, punching that brick wall with your fists, the only thing you’ll achieve is bleeding knuckles and a fast-diminishing belief that you may ever prevail.


Let’s go for a walk…

As we walk, we’ll take a look at what you’ve been buying and trying.

We’ll take a look at the underlying beliefs you have about your coaching practice…

And your self-doubt as to why anyone should ever consider working with you.

We’ll take a look at how these two things entwine symbiotically to exhaust you and deplete your resources

[which includes your bank balance, but also much, much more]

You see, you’ve been sold the myth

This would be easy, if only…

This would be easy, if only… you created a high-ticket program.

This would be easy, if only… you were an expert in Facebook ads.

This would be easy, if only… you clearly identified a niche.

This would be easy, if only… you had an elegant and productive sales funnel.

This would be easy, if only… you wrote an ebook.

This would be easy, if only…

If only…

If only…

Here’s what is easy:

Marketing to painful yearning.

That’s why you’ve been buying all these high ticket courses and working on all this tat that is NOT COACHING.

It gives you the illusion that there’s a pay-off somewhere, that this will become easy one day.

When it doesn’t, and you’re financially crashing, maybe drinking too much, lashing out at the people you love the most, guess what?

Well, there’s a high-ticket program to help you dig your way out.

Honestly, it infuriates me!

Here’s me telling coach and change agent, Caryl Mix, all about it:

Look, there is a bottom line here…

You became a coach to coach.

You became a coach because you felt the calling to help and heal.

You coach because you have no choice but to do so.

It’s time for you to coach like you mean it.

There’s only one thing that really counts

The challenge is always balancing number of leads with how many go on to become paying clients.

That means that you must bring your authentic self to your online advertising

Speak to the people you want to speak to…

Using language they understand…

And a voice they trust.

It’s time to STOP pretending to be something you’re not…

And just BE YOU.

When you do that, then finding your audience, targeting your message and delivering it at optimized cost is EASY.

Your confident presence as a coach is a reflection of your authentic self.

Align that, and all the rest follows.

That means that you must activate the powerful confidence of your authentic self

Speak to the people you want to speak to…

Using language they understand…

And a voice they trust.

It’s time to STOP pretending to be something you’re not…

And just BE YOU.

When you do that, then finding your audience, targeting your message and delivering it with confidence is EASY.

Your confident presence as a coach is a reflection of your authentic self.

Align that, and all the rest follows.

That means that you must share what you do with clarity, purpose and authenticity

Speak to the people you want to speak to…

Using language they understand…

And a voice they trust.

It’s time to STOP pretending to be something you’re not…

And just BE YOU.

When you do that, then finding your audience, targeting your message and delivering it with impact is EASY.

Your confident presence as a coach is a reflection of your authentic self.

Align that, and all the rest follows.

That means that you must establish clarity, purpose and authenticity throughout your sales funnel

Speak to the people you want to speak to…

Using language they understand…

And a voice they trust.

It’s time to STOP pretending to be something you’re not…

And just BE YOU.

When you do that, then finding your audience, targeting your message and implementing a powerful sales funnel is EASY.

Your confident presence as a coach is a reflection of your authentic self.

Align that, and all the rest follows.

That means that you must bring your authentic self to your niche

Speak to the people you want to speak to…

Using language they understand…

And a voice they trust.

It’s time to STOP pretending to be something you’re not…

And just BE YOU.

When you do that, then finding your niche, targeting your message and being the change you want in the world is EASY.

Your confident presence as a coach is a reflection of your authentic self.

Align that, and all the rest follows.

The GREAT news is that you have a clear choice

You could choose to do what you’ve done before…

And spend thousands on another do-it-yourself, pre-canned learning experience…

That only tackles a tactical symptom…

And ultimately leaves you deeper in the hole…

Or you will choose to drive to the heart of the matter and align yourself as a flourishing coach…

Radiating positive change to your potential clients…

And building the business you’ve always wanted…

I know which I would choose…

… because I have already chosen to help you flourish!

Let’s go for a walk…