In the final couple of years of my corporate career, a colleague and I had some pretty heated debates about bounded reality.
At this stage, I was already clear in my thinking, and knew I would be leaving corporate life behind – it was a matter of when, not if.
So, our heated debates typically started when we were discussing leaving an unhappy job and control over that choice
(we were in Organization Development where, believe me, these types of discussions happen a LOT!)
and, because of where my head was at, I was a strong advocate that we have more opportunities for change than we believe.
A recurring thorny subject was my contention that, no matter the level of misery, people choose to work, to stay in the job.
Manager crappy? You’re choosing to stay in their team.
Salary underwhelming? You’re choosing to under-earn.
Commute driving you spare? You’re choosing to travel to that work-place.
My friend would counter that no-one was autonomous that there was a bounded reality; that people had no choice.
He would argue that he couldn’t step out on his own, because he had a mortgage and a young family
(having gone through that thought process myself, and reached my decision, I knew that wasn’t a dealbreaker)
and I would push back at him that his reluctance wasn’t due to bounded reality, it was down to his choice not to challenge his circumstances.
As an aside, in many ways, he wasn’t wrong – bounded reality, better known as bounded rationality is a concept that people make “good enough” decisions rather than the best decision, because they cannot process all available information or consider every possible outcome. This leads to “satisficing” in decision-making.
But, at the core of his argument he was wrong. If the question is: “Could I leave my job?”, the answer is “yes”, unequivocally – there is no argument. Yet when he would maintain “I can’t leave my job?”, that wasn’t the question he was answering. And his argument of bounded reality fell short, because he HAD considered the outcomes, and HAD the available information.
When I suggested he could leave his job, the question he was answering was: “Will I leave my job?”, and his answer was “no”, because of the boundaries he had set himself
(of income, familial acceptance, fear of failure, etc.)
In the fifteen years since we were having those discussions, I’ve worked with a ton of people who are asking these questions – either because they’re stuck, or because they’ve been forced to consider their next step due to a lay-off. I’ve become hyper-aware of testing boundaries – the limits that people are placing upon their expectations.
It’s these boundaries that morph the question and, more importantly, the level of generative, positive mindset to be deployed in finding the answers.
Boundaries turn:
- “could…” – the open consideration of “how might I”; into…
- “should…” – a judgement of self/context in support of, or against, the potential path forward; into…
- “will not…” – a choice that often comes before the consideration of “could”
Yet, where do these boundaries come from?
A quick and easy approach is to use the headings from the Wheel Of Life exercise, which helps assess your current situation:
These same headings apply to our boundaries:
- Career
- Finances
- Spouse/Partner
- Family
- Friends
- Fun/Recreation
- Physical Environment
- Community
- Spirituality
- Health
We’ve been discussing job change, possibly even going independent, throughout this article, but the approach can be used when considering any major change.
For each of these headings, we can ask:
- How will the change affect this factor?
- How would I feel about that factor being affected like that?
- If it’s a negative impact, how might I go about filling the gap?
By doing this, we begin to quantify our expectations and, thus, define our boundaries – and, in so doing, help ourselves make a choice rather than staying stuck in victim mode.
And, it goes without saying, this is really hard to do alone in your own head, because we are prey to all the inefficiencies and cognitive biases that make us human beings. This is where coaching comes in, helping you declutter your thought processes and make stronger decisions either at a point in time, or over a period of sustained focus. If you’ve been stuck, having someone in your corner will help you break free.
Sometimes it feels impossible to move on, facing up to that feeling is a choice. And after that choice will come another choice. And on. And on.
Keep breathing, keep going
Vince